Elmer Smith, columnist for the Philadelphia Daily News, is wondering about the same things the rest of us are today.I can tell you why a Mercedes costs more than a Chevy, or why Brie costs more than Cheez Whiz. But somebody help me figure out what makes a high-class hooker worth $5,500 an hour.
Even accounting for the declining value of the U.S. dollar and the escalating costs of doing business in America, this seems excessive to me.
One of the leading experts on the subject is New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer. But he was too busy yesterday to answer that question for me and the millions of men who are as perplexed as I am.
The soon-to-be-former governor of New York was appearing next to his wife in one of those mirthless couples shots that made them look like an updated version of American Gothic. He made a brief statement of contrition, then repaired to a neutral corner to examine his options. Not that it's entirely up to him. The Justice Department is also examining a list of options that may include prosecuting Spitzer for transporting a woman across state lines for immoral purposes.
We'll probably learn more than we ever wanted to know about what specific immoral purposes he and his leased lovers engaged in. But what fascinates me is why these particular purveyors of the ancient art can command such high tariffs for their, um, services. They apparently operate the same basic equipment that has been employed in the trade since the first prehistoric pimp hung a red light outside his comfort cave. So it's not anatomical. The accommodations, while no doubt plush, hardly justify this kind of markup. So, what is it that makes the Emperor's Club VIP so pricey?
Well, I can tell you what the $5,500 doesn't buy: anonymity...
