"Due to the refusal of President Barack Obama and his Cabinet to responsibly adjust the priorities of government spending, this park must cut its hours. Well, actually, cutting the hours isn't necessary at all. We have the money to run the park but then, you see, we're also throwing a lot of it away on completely foolish, wasteful projects. And we've also got a lot of overpaid (though unnecessary) staff that soak up the cash you give us.
The real reason is that we're trying to embarrass the Republicans and get you to blame them for their efforts to bring some sense of sanity to government spending. And that's how we liberals are -- we don't mind hurting you if it helps us get our way. Get the idea? The park is closed now so go home…and write a letter to your Republican congressman and tell him your kids hate him for ruining their day. Thank you."