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Patriotic retirement:
There are about 40 million people over 50 in the work force … pay them $1 million apiece severance with stipulations.
They leave their jobs. Forty million job openings — unemployment fixed. They buy new American cars. Forty million cars ordered — auto industry fixed. They either buy a house or pay off their mortgage — housing crisis fixed.
If you want to read the other responses the St. Pete Times printed (but be warned, none of 'em are nearly as clever as Otterson's), you can find them here.