Well, the key word in that sentence, as you'll see in this post from Scrappleface's Scott Ott, is "satire" but also keep in mind that satire can be quite effective in clarifying some very important truths.
Romney: 'Kooky Mormon Beliefs' Won’t Affect Presidency
by Scott Ott
by Scott Ott
In an effort to win the support of conservative evangelical Christians, Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney today pledged that his “kooky Mormon beliefs” would not affect the sober judgment required to serve as the nation’s chief executive.
“Like most Americans, including many evangelical Christians, I have learned how to segregate my faith from my daily life in ways that make me inoffensive to a great number of people,” said Mr. Romney, the former governor of Massachusetts. “So, even though I’m devout in church and I try to live a moral life, you’ll never figure out what I believe about God by how I govern as president.”
Mr. Romney promised that evangelicals could listen to all eight of his future State of the Union addresses and never get a clue that his Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints teaches the following:
– God is not eternal, but was once a man on another planet
– God is married to his goddess wife and has spirit children
– Jesus is the “spirit brother” of Lucifer and all humans are their siblings
– The Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit are three separate gods
– The Father and the Son each have separate, physical bodies
– The book of Mormon is more accurate than the Bible
– The gospel was lost until Mormon founder Joseph Smith restored it and there is no salvation outside of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints
– It is impossible to be saved by God’s grace alone
“Like most Americans, including many evangelical Christians, I have learned how to segregate my faith from my daily life in ways that make me inoffensive to a great number of people,” said Mr. Romney, the former governor of Massachusetts. “So, even though I’m devout in church and I try to live a moral life, you’ll never figure out what I believe about God by how I govern as president.”
Mr. Romney promised that evangelicals could listen to all eight of his future State of the Union addresses and never get a clue that his Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints teaches the following:
– God is not eternal, but was once a man on another planet
– God is married to his goddess wife and has spirit children
– Jesus is the “spirit brother” of Lucifer and all humans are their siblings
– The Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit are three separate gods
– The Father and the Son each have separate, physical bodies
– The book of Mormon is more accurate than the Bible
– The gospel was lost until Mormon founder Joseph Smith restored it and there is no salvation outside of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints
– It is impossible to be saved by God’s grace alone
Mr. Romney acknowledged that these beliefs, and many other Mormon teachings, are mutually-exclusive of so-called “biblical evangelical Christianity” but said, “I think we can all agree that all true Christians believe that God wants us to believe that we’re all true Christians. He’s a big-tent God.”
