An old farmer named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in West Texas when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust.The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me one of them?"
Bud looks at the man quizzically, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and smiles. "Sure, why not?"
The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo. The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany.
Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.
Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer, turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."
"Well, that's exactly how many animals I've got," answered Bud. "So I guess you can take one of 'em if you want."
He watches the young man select the animal closest to him and looks on with some genuine consternation as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.
Then Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back that animal?"
The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"
"You're a bureaucrat working for a government agency," says Bud.
"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
"No guessing required." answered Bud. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; but you don't really know a thing about how working people make a living. You certainly don't know nothin' about cows, that's for dang sure."
"How can you say that," said the exasperated politician.
"Well, you see, feller;" answered Bud. "This here is a herd of sheep.
Now, will you give me back my dog?"
(Thanks for passing along the joke, Jeff. I thought it would be great for a Friday giggle.)
